Restaurant review: Burger and Lobster

Twenty quid burger?
No bloody chance.
Twenty quid lobster?
Now that makes sense!

So much has been said about Burger and Lobster that just another review seems rather superfluous. Therefore, taking my cue from the name, which has a certain poetic ring to it, I felt a piece in verse more appropriate...

Burger and lobster.
Somewhere in Mayfair,
Close to Green-Park.
Friday night dinner,
Queuing de rigeur.

Drinks before-hand,
Awaiting the call.
Phone not heard!
JM you moron,
That’s another pint please.

Phone now on loud,
Watching like hawks.
Finally rings,
Mum, bugger off!
Keep the line clear.

Ring, ring, ring.
“Burger and Lobster,
Your table is ready”.
Three hours later-
About bloody time.

Table not ready,
A drink at the bar?
Well made negroni:
Vermouth, Campari and gin
Cheers me up

Table now ready!
Two choices only,
Burger or lobster?
Bacon-cheese burger?
Grilled or steamed lobbo?

A no-brainer really.
Twenty quid burger?
No bloody chance.
Twenty quid lobster?
Now that makes sense!

Grilled lobsters for six,
Two bottles of white,
House I'm afraid.
Jug of tap water,
The order’s finally in!

Mercifully short wait,
Washed down with wine.
Claw crackers ready,
Picks in our hands,
The lobbos arrive.

Lobster, fries, salad?
Straight in, lobster first.
Bibs a-donning.
Claws a-cracking.
Meat a-skewering.

Lobster well cooked.
Chips are cold.
Salad is decent.
House white ok,
A little expensive though.

Decor is plain,
A little too plain.
Wooden panelled walls,
Spark memories of
A Harvester carvery!

A return visit?
Not rushing back.
Having said that,
A twenty pound lobster,
Is bloody good value.

Burger and lobster.
Lobster or burger?
Soho or Mayfair?
As someone once said,
The choice is yours.

Burger and Lobster, 29 Clarges Street, London, W1J 7EF. 020 7409 1699

OR

Burger and Lobster, 36 Dean Street, W1D 4PS. 0207 432 4800

No booking allowed for Mayfair, but apparently they’ll book for tables of six or more in Soho